Ever feel like walking away from something? Throwing in the towel or not starting something at all? I certainly have. I have felt this way on many occasions, directing my frustration or disappointment onto myself. The culprit is well-known to me; fear and insecurity.
I can remember when this hit a pinnacle in my life. I was waiting for a job interview to start, and found myself waiting longer than I thought was usual in the conference room of a company I really wanted to work for. Then the manic Mary thoughts started to creep in and the door was wide open for the put down party to start in my head. My first thought; I felt I was out of my league. It was a big job, and as I sat there looking around at this exquisitely decorated office and beautifully dressed people, those feelings of inadequacy took hold. I wanted to run. It’s in those moments when we need our support mechanisms in place. It takes mental stamina and faith to drag ourselves out of that situation.
When the door is flung open for negative self-talk, we need to remember we are not alone and we are not our thoughts. When these feelings of insecurity come over me, I take an inventory to get to the source.
It usually stems from a fear of being judged. Something we have no control over. I’ve discovered I don’t do enough to build myself up in my own mind. When I need to be on my game, if not prepared, I can find my self-esteem reserves on low, with the needle tilting towards empty in the tank. Not good. What I have learned to do during these moments is seek my faith, remind myself of my accomplishments and know this moment in time is not a life or death situation. I also say this little prayer; “I am a child of God, and He has a plan for me.”
This little prayer serves as a good reminder for me that I can always count on the support of God, through prayer. I know it is there for me, so I always reach out and take it.
This prayer has helped me in so many areas of my life. For instance, when I want to start something new or change I want to bring about in my life, I understand not everyone is going to come along for the ride. This is where faith steps in when the support we need coming from ourselves or others, is waning.
While it can be discouraging to stand there alone, it is also a tremendous opportunity to shed the chains that are holding us back. Hold tight to the goal of trying new things, and moving forward in life. It could entail going on an interview we feel uncomfortable going on. This is how barriers are broken down. It’s about ourselves, not anyone else.
Maya Angelo, has so many quotes that are applicable here, and it is hard to pick just one, however this has struck a chord with me: In the struggle lies the joy. How often have we given up or walked away because the struggle was more than we thought we could bear? I almost did in that interview. Our internal dialogue can cloud our judgement when we should be listening to our encouraging inner voice that taps into the vast wisdom we possess, and God’s guidance.
Ways to support ourselves:
- Create a support system: Prayer, supportive family and friends, a counselor. Forget the people who don’t offer support, move towards those that do.
- Making lists: I will make a list of some of the wonderful interactions I had over the past week. Writing this down reminds me of the positive support that has come my way.
- What went right? I forget at times there is a lot of good things surrounding me and I am part of the mechanism that helps make this happen.
- False emotions: Sometimes we cannot and should not, trust our emotions as much as the reality of the situation.
I have had many a sideways glance from people I trusted for input, only to feel deflated, sometimes we need that for balance. Here’s the difference, if the desire for what you are reaching for doesn’t die in that moment, don’t give up! Push aside the negative reviews, damaging inner dialogue, brush it off and hold fast to the purpose of the destiny ahead.