…I will not abandon you or leave you alone (Joshua 1:5)
I just love this reminder, that God is always with us. I love to reflect on the good in my life and ask God to take the hardships. Life can be so overwhelming at times. Through prayer, I can reduce my anxiety over any situation. I pray about it, and give away the tough stuff that is out of my control. The more I try to control something, the more stressful it becomes.
There is going to be strife in life. It would be great to avoid this, but I know we can’t. I would like to think that when I am going through something, I will gain greater insight. Most of the time, what I learn, is just how strong I really am. I also know I am not alone. There have been trials that I’ve leaned hard on God to bring me through. Some of these trials took longer and resolve wasn’t always immediate, or the way I wanted it, but I got through. There was pain and then there was peace. The kind of peace that flows through my veins and surrounds me, and can only come from one source.
I remember when I was in the hospital, sick with pneumonia and put in isolation. No one could come into my room without a mask and gown. I was by myself and terrified. One of the doctors asked if I had a DNR on file. I didn’t. He wanted to know in the event of not being able to breath on my own, would I want the medical staff to intervene. I had to sign a document. I was told my organs were not receiving enough oxygen and it would be a tough night. He was an infectious disease specialist, a medication was coming from the city to help fight the infection, he said the next few hours would be critical. I was alone and I didn’t want to accept what I was hearing, so I politely asked him to leave.
I went into the bathroom and got sick. I used up all my nervous energy. I decided I wouldn’t accept the prognosis and instead asked God to take it from me. I prayed for angels and healing, I wasn’t ready to go. I didn’t plead, I just wanted peace with whatever way this night was going to go, I didn’t want to be scared with God’s decision.
I started to flip through my phone and went to the email chain of a friend who sends out prayers daily. I read, and I read. When the nurse came in, along with the witness to sign the DNR, (which of course I wanted them to save me at all costs), I realized I wasn’t frightened anymore. I had stopped shaking and the peace I so needed, now covered me.
It was a noisy in my room with all the monitors and constant visits from nurses for medication. With all that was going on, I couldn’t sleep. Towards the middle of the night a nurse stopped in. She was lovely and we shared the same name. I remember exactly what she looked like and when I told her I was scared and didn’t want to close my eyes for fear I wouldn’t wake up; she promised she wouldn’t leave my room. Each time I dozed off and looked up she was there. It was an amazing comfort. When I woke up again it was daylight, and she was gone.
That morning when a different nurse came in to deliver my morning meds, I wanted to find out about the lovely woman who had been so kind to see me through the night. I explained what had happened, and she looked at me strangely. She said only the night nurses who monitored my vitals came to my room, no one stayed. She said she would check into it for me. A nurse who was on that night was getting ready to leave, at my morning nurse’s prompting, she came by my room on her way out to reiterate no one had been with me for any extended period. I told her with great certainty, that a woman had indeed been with me, I pointed to the chair she sat in and described what she looked like. She assured me no one working that night, fit that description. I was puzzled but very certain about my experience and then remembered what I had prayed for.
Later that morning, more good news was delivered. When the specialist came by on his morning rounds, he told me my healing was remarkable, I must have a good immune system. I was very lucky, he said. I would be kept for another two nights, and isolation lifted as soon as the lab results came back with the type of bacteria that had invaded my lungs. I had turned the corner and was on the path to healing. I was relieved and grateful, but full recovery would take months, he said. I was so overjoyed.
I am so moved, almost to tears, when I think back to that night and the immediate healing. Aside from the amazing medical intervention, I cannot explain what happened. I am positive about the healing and the angel God sent to sit with me to deliver the comfort I desperately needed. I have heard that angels walk amongst us, and now, I have experienced this first hand. In the Bible, it tells us that angels were created to do God’s will. They can be invisible or visible. The Psalmist said, that God “will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.” (Psalm 91:11) It has been written that one of heaven’s many joys will be discovering how angels intervened to save us, or bless us. I believe this to be true, as we are never alone and comfort is ours, in the darkest hours and in the light of day.